We all have one. That someone that makes us feel like we can't move or speak without them. They hold the key to the deepest and most vulnerable part of our hearts.
The one that you wish to have an incredibly happy life, even though you aren't part of it. The one you watch from afar and feel a lurching in your stomach if they're with another, someone they find as special as you find them.
You become obsessed with their social interactions, hoping for their happiness but secretly wishing for everything to fall apart so that you can be there for them.
But it's not just their fault you aren't a part of their lives. You are in a state of mental unrest, you made yourself difficult to get along with, you forced yourself upon them and drove them away. Your thirst and hunger for their love was the one thing that drove them to despair.
So you sit back, continuing to watch them, knowing that you'll feel this way for the next fifty years, but not able to be with your one true love. They have built their walls, they are protected from the likes of you, the ones that can wait a lifetime for the opportunity to be the one that can release them from themselves, release them from the walls surrounding them. To take them into your arms, kiss them and say, "I love you".
I have one, someone so special to me that hearing from him brings a tear to my eye, and a leap of my heart. I can't have him though. I lost him. But I will always love him. Even if my life takes a path that is different to his as it has begun to do, my heart will follow him on his path, whilst my body follows another path. A path that is filled with tears, heartache and despair. Maybe one day, my forsaken path will be rejoined to his and we can be what I always hoped we'd be. We'll see...
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